Real Parents Don’t Encourage Gender Confusion in Children

Posted on December 2, 2013 in Sexuality by

Gender ConfusedEither the number of people claiming to be “gender confused” has dramatically risen over the past few years, or scores of confused people from the past few decades have a secret. One thing is for sure, gender confusion is now front and center in our culture.

Personally, I think the number of gender confused people has risen dramatically over the past few years. Not because people did not face such confusion in the past, but because in the past their confusion was met with compassionate counsel that encouraged them to embrace their biological gender. Today, however, such counsel is labeled “intolerant” and “bigoted” and all but outlawed.

There is a considerable amount of effort presently to affirm those who are gender confused; particularly among youth and younger generations. It’s almost as if older gender confused people are angry that no one ever affirmed their confusion so they want to retaliate by affirming even the slightest hint of confusion in students and teens.

This affirmation is particularly heinous as it attacks young, impressionable teens at a time when they are already confused about many things in life. The last thing they need is someone encouraging confusion about their gender in violation of their biology. The effects of push to affirm gender confusion, especially in teens, can be seen in the substance abuse rates among gender confused people.

An LGBT Drug Rehab website states that “Individuals who struggle with gender identity disorder are at a high risk of developing a substance abuse problem.” That much I can agree with. The site goes on to state “The connection between gender identity and addiction stems from the confusion and the inability to express yourself in a healthy manner either because you are afraid or because you simply don’t have the words needed.” That part I don’t agree with.

The site goes on say that such persons need an “LGBT-friendly rehab facility” that caters to the needs of confused people. That part I most certainly don’t agree with. Clearly such a facility will further compound the problems of gender confused people by affirming their confusion rather than encouraging such people to embrace their God-given biological gender. By doing so they almost certainly set people up for a life of mental and emotional turmoil as they continually wrestle against their own biology in an attempt to embrace confusion.

An article at Crisis Magazine correctly underscores the harm caused by affirming gender confusion:

“Do liberal parents really not appreciate the insecurity they will introduce by opening a rift between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’? For every child who yearns to reject his naturally-born sex, there must be hundreds or thousands for whom the basic recognition that ‘I am a boy’ or ‘I am a girl’ is a cornerstone of his identity. Suggesting other alternatives, and encouraging children to entertain them as real possibilities, cannot but diminish the security of that fundamental identification. Every child will now be forced to confront the lonely possibility of having no natural home either in the company of men and boys, or in the company of women and girls.”

Parents have the responsibility of protecting their children and teaching them about it means to be a man or a woman. To affirm confusion in a child is an incredible abdication of the role of parent and an abuse of the trust and responsibility placed on that parent. The results are often disastrous for both the parent and the child.

And if parents have the responsibility to teach their children what it means to be a man or a woman, certainly pastors have the responsibility of reinforcing this teaching by expounding what the Bible teaches about gender and sexuality. Yet, as Dr. Denny Burke observes, pastors and churches have neglected this critical role much in the same way parents have:

“Many pastors and teachers simply don’t want to push back in a countercultural sort of way, being content to remain silent about God’s teaching about these flashpoints in the larger culture war. Meanwhile, however, their congregations are floundering in misunderstanding and false teaching about human sexuality. Many Christians have little training in what it means to be created in the image of God as male and female.”

I agree with Dr. Burke’s statement, far too many churches are woefully inadequate at explaining what the Bible teaches about human sexuality and gender. And far too many parents have left such teaching to the church rather than being the primary teacher for their children. This combination has resulted in disastrous consequences for a younger generation that is losing what it means to be truly male or female.

As long as parents are willing to affirm their child’s gender confusion we can be certain that masculinity and femininity as they were intended to be expressed by true maleness and femaleness will continue to suffer. The culture will continue to be the primary influencer of teens who get no guidance or influence from parents or church. The result will be teens from all backgrounds – faith and non-faith – that remain confused about they are and who they were intended to be.

Ultimately this will contribute to the continued breakdown of the traditional family and the weakening of society.

The solution almost sounds too simple to be true. Parents need to resist any urges to give in to cultural notions of gender and sexuality and affirm the maleness and femaleness of their children. Churches must once again boldly confront false societal concepts of gender with the transcendent truth of Scripture. Though it will take time, these simple steps will undergird the foundation of our nation as we once again return to an understanding not just of gender and sexuality, but family.

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