The Reformed Advisor

Why Shouldn’t You Experience Pain and Suffering?

Posted on January 14, 2014 in Theology by

why meHave you ever gone through difficult circumstances and uttered that immortal phrase that runs through every mind at the time, “why me?” Sure, we’ve all done that. It’s a passphrase into the club of commiseration that every person wants to join as we loathe our circumstances together. And with the ability to network and share every detail of our lives on sites such as Facebook and Twitter we can quickly gain sympathy for “how awful” and “unfair” our trial is from lots of very well- meaning people.

And, as cyber friends remind us that “this too shall pass” we are increasingly pushed to focus on the day when our trial will be over and we’ll all look back and have a good laugh about it; rather than considering the purpose for the trial in the first place.

Instead of asking “why me?” in a time of difficulty we may be wiser to ask “why not me?” while seeking the purpose for our temporary suffering. Instead of lamenting the fact that we have to experience this dark valley and seeking a quick exit we would be better to use it as a time of reflection as we seek God’s purpose for it.

There’s a power-packed theological lesson in this thought but let me break it down into a basic idea that can be unpacked in a few moments. The first thing to understand is that God is Sovereign (Psa. 135:6). Simply put, God does whatever He wants. This is a powerful truth that should bring comfort into the heart of every believer to know that any trial we are asked to endure is allowed by God.

Nowhere is this truth better portrayed than in the story of Job. The book of Job happens to be one of my favorites in the entire Bible and I find Job to be a remarkable man of God. But if anyone had ground to say “why me?” or decry how “unfair” and “awful” his circumstances were, it would be Job. Job was a righteous man, a man that God Himself bragged to Satan about. Let that sink in for a moment, Job was a man God bragged about! God said to Satan “Have you considered my servant Job? For there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and upright man that fears God and turns from evil (Job 1:8).

But after a series of events that God allowed into Job’s life, he experienced tremendous suffering. His children were killed, his livestock was destroyed, and even his health was taken from him. Certainly this man had every reason to raise a fist to God and demand an answer. To be honest Job does question God. He asks God why he is allowed to go through such trials when he did everything he could to live for God, honor God, and exalt God. After all, it was God that bragged about Job.

The one thing Job did not do is allow his present suffering to destroy his faith. In Job 13:15 we read one of the most powerful verses in the entire Bible. Job said, “Though He (God) slay me, yet will I trust Him, and I will maintain all my ways before Him.” Wow, Job trusted God so much that even if God decided to kill him he would not let go of his faith.

Job could have sat down, thrown himself a pity party and taken the advice of his wife to “curse God and die.” But rather than getting sucked into a never-ending spiral of “why me?” and “woe is me,” Job praised God?! That’s right; he took the opportunity to praise God.

This brings me back to the idea of asking “why not me?” when we find ourselves experiencing trials. I was reminded of this just recently when I began feeling sick one evening, followed a few short hours by my son getting sick and then my daughter. I asked God “why me?” in the middle of the night after being up trying to help my pregnant wife tend to the kids. Then, as I lay back down it was as if God gently nudged me and said “why not you?” To be honest, it made sense and brought a sense of peace that God was still in control.

What is crucial to remember is that our times of suffering are an opportunity for God to do something wonderful in our lives. Like Job we have a choice to either get bitter, defeated and allow our circumstances to overcome us, or to grow stronger in our faith and see our difficulty as a chance to praise God.

So often people want to be known as Godly, they want to develop Godliness in their life and become spiritually mature. But the fact is, developing these characteristics is often hard and requires suffering. As we read in 2 Peter 1:5-6 that knowing God leads to self-control, self-control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness. In other words we don’t just wake up one day as a Godly, spiritually mature person. It takes time, “patient endurance” and a great deal of suffering.

So the question remains, do we want to be “happy” as defined by our society – which is solely reliant on circumstances being what we think they ought to be?  Or, do we want to be Godly, spiritually mature, and filled with peaceful joy that transcends our circumstances?

The difference between happiness and joy is what allowed Paul to sing praises while in jail, and what caused Stephen to forgive the people that were stoning him, and what propelled Job to thank God for his trials. Happiness is temporary and fleeting, joy lasts forever.

So the next time you are tempted to say “why me?” in the midst of a trial stop, and ask God “why not me?” Then seek His purpose for your trial and what He desires to accomplish in you as a result. Face your trial head-on with faith, boldness, and joy, knowing that “all things work together for good to them that love God.” (Rom 8:28)

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