The Reformed Advisor

Are Homosexual Relationships Naturally Troublesome? New Research Might Surprise You

Posted on August 14, 2014 in Marriage by

homosexuals holding handsHomosexuals have been in the news a lot lately. Oh, you didn’t know that? Yeah, apparently they just want to “be like everyone else” and for everyone to ignore them and go about their business. That plan doesn’t seem to be going well for a photographer in New Mexico, a florist in Washington, or a baker in Colorado. But hey, tolerance.

As gay couples continue to try and convince the rest of us that they are just like everyone else, doing normal relationship things, the world remains unconvinced. This isn’t merely about sex. Yes, that’s an aspect of the relationship that homosexuals desperately want others to believe is normal. But as research shows, the sexual relationship of homosexuals is not nearly as “normal” as they would have us believe.

In an article for Canon and Culture, author Glenn Stanton asks the question: “Are same-sex couples just like you?” Stanton then cites numerous research projects into the sexual habits and durability of same-sex unions to show that they are not, in fact, like others. Stanton begins by stating:

“Same-sex male couples are dramatically more likely to be unfaithful than heterosexual couples.” And “Committed lesbian relationships are more likely to break up than both male-male and opposite-sex couples, by dramatic margins.”

From there Stanton, based on the various research projects cited, states:

“male same-sex marriages break up at twice the rate of heterosexual marriages.” 

“the break-up rate for lesbians [is a] stunning 77% higher  than the same-sex male unions!”

“42 percent [of homosexual male couples] made an arrangement for outside-sexual relationships within the first three months of the relationship’s beginning and by the end of the first year that number increased to 49 percent. At the seventh anniversary mark, an additional 24 percent of gay couples adopted such agreements.”

Hmm, call me crazy, but that doesn’t look anything like the average, normal, male-female relationship. In fact, many of the research projects Stanton cited were conducted by very gay-friendly researchers and they could not help but conclude the same. The difference between homosexual and traditional relationships in terms of sexual monogamy and durability is stark and obvious. They cannot deny that traditional marriages by leaps and bounds tend to be exclusive and last much longer.

The following graph shows the results of just one such study:

Reaching Anniversary Same-Sex Cohab Opposite-Sex Cohab Opposite-Sex Married
4 years 37% 67% 88%
8 years 25% 60% 82%

By close to a 3 to 1 margin, traditional relationship have a greater chance of making it to the 4-year anniversary mark. And by more than a 3 to 1 margin, traditional relationships have a chance of making it to the 8-year mark.

The evidence is overwhelming for the fact that traditional male-female relationships last while homosexual relationships are far more prone to breaking apart. But this makes sense when one considers the fact that homosexual relationships begin on the basis of sexuality.

It appears that many homosexual relationships begin and end on the basis of sex. People want to “be who they are,” sexually, and therefore find another person based on that commonality. But without more than just sex to keep two people together there is not much chance of the relationship lasting. I’ve never heard a couple married for 50 or 60 years say that sex is the secret. And yet homosexuals seem to want to begin and end their relationships based on sex. It’s a losing proposition.

But the fact that most homosexual relationships are not monogamous, by nature, and don’t even want to be or try to be, says a lot about them as well. It signals to one another that there is not really a strong commitment. Refusing to have sex with anyone but the person I am in a relationship with takes serious commitment. But the nature of homosexuality seems inherently non-monogamous. Refusing sex with anyone but their partner is almost against their nature as a homosexual. And yet it seems to be what is also causing the high turnover rate in their relationships.

Of course, there’s other factors as well, biological nature for one that are working against their relationships. Stanton gave one piece of evidence for the high rate of dissolution among lesbian relationships:

“It is likely that women tend to be more relationally intense. It’s one thing when half a partnership feels the need to “talk about our relationship” and the other not so much. It provides a helpful and healthy balance. It is another when, as [researcher] admits, “Lesbians…tend to discuss things endlessly.” Few relationships can endure such relational intensity and it appears as if they don’t.”

With all the turmoil inside same-sex relationships we naturally turn our attention to the high rate of suicide among homosexuals. For years LGBT activists and advocates have tried to tell us that “stigma” and “homophobia” are the cause of the high suicide rates. But a new study says that it is actually due to the relationship problems homosexuals experience.

Ben Johnson, writing at LifeSiteNews, recently wrote of the new study:

“While many assume that family rejection is the leading cause of depression among LBGTI individuals, a new study has found that in fact the problem appears to stem predominantly from the higher incidence of relationship problems among homosexuals. Dr. Delaney Skerrett led a team of researchers from the Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention (AISRAP) in studying suicides in Queensland. He found that a leading cause of suicide among ‘lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex’ (LGBTI) people is stress from their romantic partners.”

Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council said of this study:

“Pro-homosexual activists have long given a single explanation for the high rates of physical and mental health problems among those who engage in homosexual relationships – they blame it on ‘homophobia,’ the ‘stigma’ which they suffer at the hands of society, and the ‘rejection’ they suffer from family members who disapprove of such conduct. Scientific research, however, has never supported this one-size-fits-all explanation for the serious pathologies experienced by homosexuals. I welcome this addition to the body of evidence refuting the myths about ‘homophobia.’”

The conclusion is easy to see. Homosexual relationships are inherently troublesome for reason ranging from biological nature to sexual proclivities. Those troubles foster an uncertainty within the relationship that results in high stress and conflict. The result of loving in such conditions for an extended period of time can be potentially catastrophic, leading even to suicide.

The research supports this summation and the growing body of evidence to further support this claim will be troubling for many LGBT activists. Many in our society are pushing people headlong into a lifestyle that has more dangers and pitfalls than benefits. Incidences of abuse, drug use, and suicide are far higher among homosexuals than heterosexuals. And yet society continues to push people in this direction.

It’s not loving to support people in a lifestyle that leads to self-destruction. We don’t celebrate drug addiction. We don’t hold pride rallies for alcoholics. We encourage them to get help. We would be wise to do the same for homosexuals. A little more tough love might be the order of the day.

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