The Reformed Advisor

Author Wants to Recreate the Christian Sexual Ethic in Her Own Image

Posted on May 5, 2015 in Marriage, Sexuality by

husband wifeIt’s no secret that the Bible is under attack. What is interesting is the fact that it’s the oldest (and first) attack in the book (yes, pun intended). It’s the old “did God really say?” attack that is once again being foisted upon Christians and readers of the Bible.

Nowhere is this attack more prevalent than in the area of sexuality.

For centuries there has been a certain sexual ethic that has served as a guide for Christians. That doesn’t mean people didn’t ignore it or abuse it at times, but the truth that a guiding ethic for human sexuality existed can’t be ignored.

While we are all very familiar with the fact that the Christian/biblical view of sexuality with regards to homosexuality has been a constant topic in our culture; what has not been so obvious is the other aspects of sexuality that are now under attack.

First, let’s be clear about what I mean when I talk about the Christian sexual ethic. In a few short words the basic theology of sexuality that has governed Christians for centuries is: homosexuality is wrong, sex outside of marriage is wrong. Obviously adultery, prostitution, and pornography are all wrong. This is the very simple, very basic Christian sexual ethic.

For Christians, what happens between a married man and woman is no one’s business. We believe there is freedom for a husband and wife to enjoy one another in whatever ways they each find mutually beneficial within the confines of their exclusive marriage. Any kind of abuse, especially within marriage is viewed as sinful and never acceptable. Christians know that the bedroom is a sacred place where mutual love and respect is given highest priority.

Knowing this, it’s no surprise that self-described Christians are now attacking even the marriage aspect of sexuality with the “did God really say” attack. What better way to recreate sexuality in your own image than to first undermine sexuality’s foundation by casting doubt about what God really intended?

A recent article  comments on a new book wherein the author seeks to replace the centuries old Christian sexual ethic with the ethic of a woman who has decided that she knows better than God what your sexual ethic ought to be. The author doesn’t like the current Christian sexual ethic because, according to her:

“Evangelicalism seems to have encoded rape into its very theology, casting sex as a duty, no matter what one’s mood is at the time. It gives people free rein to rape their spouses, because, after all, one’s body is not one’s own. If any and all sex before the wedding is a sin, regardless of consent, and all sex after the wedding is a duty, then individual desire, sex drive, and consent are erased in the name of God.”

I’m not sure where the author is getting her information, but this doesn’t sound like the Christian sexual ethic I know. Personally, if my wife is “not in the mood” or is feeling ill, the last thing I want to do is force her to be sexual; my ultimate pleasure is in her being pleased. So this author, apparently, has a faulty premise for writing her book.

Anyone that would advocate a spouse being forced into being sexual regardless of any other factors is ignorant concerning the Bible and the constraints placed on husbands and wives. Words like respect, love, and sacrifice are abundant when discussing the relationship between a husband and wife. The idea that any husband would simply demand his wife to be sexual with him regardless of her feelings is false, at best.

What becomes clear is that this author is not advocating for anything remotely Christian or biblical. This author sees sexuality as something she can mold into her own image. She wants to remove the safety of God’s guidelines as outlined in the Bible. She has no trouble advocating for sex outside of marriage and anything else that “liberates us from rules…”

The author says she would like to see:

“A theology and an ethic that centers female pleasure, that affirms agency on the part of women and views each member of the Body of Christ as an autonomous being who has the capacity for sexual desire and the right to experience it in safe, healthy ways—a theology that liberates us from rules—is the answer. You must develop your own understanding of what it means to be liberated, what it means to bring justice and grace and mercy and love into the bedroom.”

This is all the information needed to determine that this author and her book is nothing more than another liberal, feminist attempt to undermine the good design God created with one that is based on man’s opinion (or, woman’s). When someone starts telling us that our view of sexuality should include the idea that we are “autonomous” we have a problem. God specifically tells us that in marriage we are “one flesh” (Mark 10:7-9). We are not autonomous and, in fact, that is the very idea that leads to abuse within a marriage. It’s when we understand that we are one flesh that we truly learn to love and respect our spouse.

Any view of sexuality that “liberates us from rules” is not the answer, it’s the problem. The rules that God ordained for sexuality and marriage were done for our good. Those rules are there to protect us. Removing them would create chaos in our bodies and turmoil in our emotions as we devolve into the sensual paganism that destroyed more than one civilization.

I don’t want to develop my own understanding of sexuality, that’s dangerous. I am a sinful, depraved human capable of terrible things when left to myself. I need the loving guidance God has given in His Word. This author and her book are not helpful for Christians, they are an age-old attack on God’s Word seeking to cast doubt and further confuse people.

The design for sexuality and the Christian sexual ethic are intended for our good; and to make us holy. No need to reboot.

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