What I Should Have Said to the Doctor That Insulted My Baby
I thought it was going to be another relaxing Sunday afternoon. I enjoy our family rest day as we go to church together then gather at my parents’ house for lunch. Then we get to rest for the remainder of the day and enjoy family time as we prepare for our week. It’s my favorite day of the week.
But this Sunday would turn out to be very different.
Few outside of our families knew that my wife was pregnant. This was our fourth child and we didn’t see a need to make a big deal of it. Besides, there is a lot going on with our family and we had little time for much else. So besides our families not many people were even aware she was about 11 weeks along.
Well, we thought she was 11 weeks along.
She had been experiencing some bleeding for about a week. Considering this was her fourth pregnancy she knew her body and how it acted during pregnancy. She was concerned and asked to go to the ER. Being a very logical person I was not excited as I thought she was perhaps overreacting to our previous week of excessive running around and eating out (part of a stay-cation for us.) But I agreed and we sent the kids home with my mom while we drove to the ER.
After a couple of hours waiting and getting checked in, we finally got to a room in the ER. After some more waiting my wife was taken for an ultra-sound. When she returned she was upset and I knew something wasn’t right. When the nurse left, through tears, my wife explained that the baby was measuring only 8 weeks and they could not find a heartbeat. Suddenly, we joined the 30% of pregnancies that end in miscarriage.
After waiting a bit longer the doctor came in to “explain” what happened. This explanation turned out to be little more than a couple of suggestions of possible reasons for the miscarriage. But it was the doctor’s language, his descriptions that stood out to me.
The doctor used the term “products of conception” several times to describe our unborn child. He explained to my wife that she would “pass all the products of conception” within the next few days. I’ve only heard one group of people use this phrase: abortion advocates.
The phrase “products of conception” is used to dehumanize an unborn child. Rather than speak of a living human being the unborn is called a “product of conception” in an attempt to make it easier to abort the child. And ultimately, as we are finding out through the undercover videos, to sell the aborted baby’s body parts for money. Abortion advocates think it will be easier to sell an arm, a liver, or a heart if it is referred to as a “product of conception” rather than an unborn child.
Those who buy and sell aborted baby body parts refer to those parts as “products of conception.” They become little more than line items on an invoice rather than the body parts of murdered children. This sleight of hand change in terminology is important. If we dehumanize the unborn for profit (or any other reason) we are opening a dangerous door to dehumanize other groups. Will we next stop referring to the aged as elderly and now call them “end of life products”?
Perhaps the most shocking statements came when we asked about recognizing the child when it was passed. We knew the child would be expelled from my wife’s body, and we wanted to make sure we did not miss it. The doctor however told us that we would not recognize the child because:
“Right now it’s just a clump of cells. There is nothing resembling a baby to recognize.”
First of all, it’s insulting to my intelligence and to my unborn child to call it a “clump of cells.” Science has definitively proven the humanity of the unborn. To call an unborn child anything less than an unborn child is both offensive and un-scientific. Whether he did it consciously or not, this doctor was propagating the false lies of Planned Parenthood. For years this evil corporation has profited from lying to women about their unborn child. They have ignored science and waged a war on women by misleading them about the humanity of their unborn child. Our doctor was helping in that cause.
But calling an unborn child a “clump of cells” also ignores the fact that there is a heart, beating. When they did the ultra-sound on my wife they told her there was no heartbeat. Clumps of cells don’t have heartbeats. Only living creatures have heartbeats. An unborn living being in the womb of a woman with a heartbeat can only be one thing: a child. To call that child anything less is insulting, insensitive, and just plain wrong.
Then again, the doctor was absolutely wrong.
When the child came out my wife recognized it instantly. She was able to save the tiny little body and we were able to get a picture. We immediately identified two eyes, a mouth, and a heart. Even though we did not go to medical school and have no medical training, we could identify the humanity of the unborn child. Which makes the fact that our doctor refused to admit the humanity of the child even more of a concern. If this doctor, after years of medical school and experience, cannot identify the human parts of an unborn child, can he really be trusted as a doctor?
It’s interesting that when Planned Parenthood and their abortionists want to sell aborted baby body parts they can easily identify each and every part of the child. But, when they want to simply push a woman to have an abortion it’s just a “clump of cells.” Sounds like a convenient and deceptive double standard.
Looking back I should have shared this with the doctor. And maybe I will find a way to share my perspective with him. The trauma of miscarriage is enough to deal with without having to be insulted by the doctor. I’m sure many doctors think they are being sensitive by dehumanizing the child; an effort to lessen the sting of miscarriage perhaps. But in my opinion it’s adding insult to an incredible injury.
We will honor the very short life of our unborn child. We didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. We didn’t have the chance to name him/her. We didn’t even get to spend any time with the child. But every life is precious and deserves to be defended and honored. So we will thank God for the gift of life and praise Him for His grace in the events He allowed to take place. Our celebration of life will go unnoticed and not make any headlines. But it will be a lifelong reminder of how beautiful and valuable every life is.