Blogger Remembers Being Gender Confused At a Time When People Were Sane
I grew up in the 80’s. It was a time when we played outside until dark; video games were okay, but bikes and sticks and forts and bb guns were “way cooler.” Yes, we had “loud pants,” slap bracelets and MC Hammer. But we also had, apparently, more common sense.
You see, when I was growing up just because you were rowdy you didn’t get slapped with a label (ADD, ADHD) and prescribed a drug. For the most part we were just kids with a lot of energy. This might not have been true for everyone, but it applied to most. Spanking was normal. I can even remember being spanked in the principles office at school. Teachers actually taught. Parents had no interest in being “best friends” with their kids. Boys were dorks and girls had cooties.
The best thing about boys and girls was that boys were boys and girls were girls. Sure, we had “tomboys” that played rough and tumble with the guys. But they were still girls. We liked the difference between boys and girls. We didn’t seek to close some imaginary gender gap and create an androgynous culture; we celebrated the differences between boys and girls (well, as best as elementary students can celebrate gender differences).
Like blogger LaVern Vivio, I’m very thankful I grew up at a time when common sense was still common and boys and girls were still boys and girls. Vivio recently shared a very personal part of her child hood in which she recounts wishing she were a boy. But she quickly surprises the gender activists by saying she is thankful she grew up then, rather than now:
“As a child — possibly throughout my entire adolescence I had wished — special emphasis on the word ‘wished’ I had been born a boy. I don’t still wish this — I wished it back when I also wished I could be a veterinarian, a fireman, a cowboy or the next ‘Tanya Tucker.’ when I grew up. I was thankful to have grown up then — rather than now. So I had the chance to not only choose between a career as a cowboy or fireman but to grow through the awkwardness of adolescence without being assaulted by the psychopathic motives of gender activism.”
Vivio is thankful she grew up in a saner time because if she were a child today and even hinted that she wished she were a boy, she would become a target for gender activists. Gender activists would tell Vivio that she really is a boy, trapped in a female body, and that she needs to take hormones, wear boys’ clothes, cut her hair, and adopt a boy’s name. In other words, live life as a boy. The fact that gender activists pounce on children in this way has lead Vivio to ask, “Have we lost our minds?”
The fact that gender activists pounce on kids causes a visceral reaction in me. Children have enough confusion and worry to deal with in life; the last thing a child needs is some angry activist telling him/her that he/she needs to switch genders. More often than not attempts to “transition” genders leads to further confusion and other mental health issues. Vivio very astutely recognizes that gender confused people need prayer, love, and guidance, not bathroom laws:
“Do we honestly think transgender laws and restrooms will compensate for the deafening cry to be noticed / cared about / loved / and dare I say it? To know God and gain an understanding of why any of us are here in the first place? If you are someone struggling with gender issues I will pray for you — I will be your friend — I will help you all I can.”
But while Vivio acknowledges the need for love and respect, she rightly reminds transgender people that love and respect is a two-way street:
“I simply can’t imagine that forcing me to go to the bathroom with a guy that is not comfortable being a guy is going to make things any better for you — and how dare you ask me to try and explain that to a child. Just as I will love and respect you I ask you to love and respect me.”
Vivio correctly identifies what many people are upset about. It has nothing to do with transgender people; it has everything to do with our kids. Kids should not be forced to learn about complicated issues at young ages. There is a thing called age-appropriate and explain gender confusion to kids at 5 is not age-appropriate. Demanding to be allowed to use the women’s bathroom won’t solve anything; anymore than demanding to be allowed to marry solved anything for homosexual people. Once again we are at the tip of the iceberg and no one knows just how big this chunk of ice is.
The bottom line is that laws can’t force acceptance, respect, or support. Communism taught us that. Once the high of using the women’s bathroom wears off the drive to be accepted as a human will once again rear its head and demand satisfaction. What will be next at that point?
Vivio reminds us that there is, ultimately, only one way to be at peace:
“More and more we are seeing single family restrooms being made available where anyone can go and be on their own — away from scrutiny. I hope those options will be made available in schools where kids are the most vulnerable. But we all know for a teen dealing with the awkwardness of gender identity — forced acceptance only feels like a victory momentarily. Once the dust settles and the guards have gone — the shallow feeling of victory will be replaced again with the same old awkwardness and resentment that nothing has really changed. The only true way forward is to not seek acceptance of others for your self-esteem and comfort but to find it within yourself in the perfect creation you were born and I believe God created you to be.”
I would encourage you to read Vivio’s blog post here. As someone that has experienced gender confusion first-hand, her insight is valuable. Her commentary is sorely needed at this time and I hope her story continues to go out.