My Son Said He Wanted to Wear a Skirt – So I Told Him…
“I like your skirt, mom.”
“Thank-you, now go to bed.”
Tucking my son into bed he said:
“Dad, I’m gonna wear a skirt when I’m a girl.”
“When are you going to be a girl?”
“Uuuh, maybe in ten days.”
Yes, that’s an actual dialogue I had with my 4 year-old son recently. He says some of the most off the wall things. The kinds of things that stick with you and make you laugh at 11 o’clock at night when you’re brushing your teeth. But this time I was more curious about what he had to say.
I think it’s because I’ve read too many accounts of parents having similar conversations and determining that their child must be a “girl trapped in a boy’s body” and they begin buying him skirts and high-heels. Some of the stories I read are about 4 and 5 year old kids whose parents accommodate them when they declare they are the opposite gender.
Then again, we live in a world where gender, to some, is not quite as fixed as it once was. At one point, certain biological features determined whether a person was male or female. But the brave new world we live in today says that those features are arbitrary and don’t determine anything. I can’t quite wrap my mind around a world where a penis doesn’t definitively determine a person is male. All the biology books say it does. Science says it does. Even the ultra-sound tech at the hospital will happily declare your unborn child is male if a penis is spotted.
Of course, some might say that those “labels” given to us before we’re born are part of the problem.
Poking fun at the progressive ideology that gender is fluid and biology doesn’t determine gender, blogger Matt Walsh has penned a post that hilariously illustrates how absurd an idea gender fluidity is. He begins by detailing his recent visit to the hospital for an ultra-sound where “things started out OK,” only to be “literally stunned” when “it happened.”
What happened you might be wondering? I’ll let Matt say it in his own words:
“Suddenly, without warning, you shouted, ‘Look! It’s a boy!’
“There. You can see the penis,’ you said calmly. ‘Look, right there. You’re having a boy! Congratulations!’
“Boy? Penis? CONGRATULATIONS? I recoiled in shock. My partner trembled with fury. I fell to the floor in uncontrollable convulsions. She fell on top of me. We rolled around screaming and wailing and weeping and clinging desperately to each other. The emotional anguish was simply too much for either of us to bear. We felt like black people must have felt when they were told to go to the back of the bus. We felt like Roman slaves must have felt when they were eaten by lions in the Coliseum. We felt like all persecuted peoples throughout history must have felt, only worse. We had become victims like them, only more so.”
While this might read like satire there is an element of reality in it. Some people see gender as fluid, not determined by biology before birth. Whereas we once would declare in unison that someone was having a boy due to the presence of a penis on an ultra-sound screen, today, some would disagree and be annoyed that we would “assign gender based on biology.” Walsh makes that clear when he reviews “some basic science” for anyone that thinks biology determines gender:
“First of all, let’s review some basic science, shall we? I can’t believe I have to explain this to someone in the medical field in the year 2016, but here we go: The presence of a penis in no way indicates that it’s a boy. Penises are just arbitrary, fleshy protuberances, which, by some accident of nature, happen to attach themselves to certain humans and not to others. They’re like warts or pimples, only they can get people pregnant. But they mean nothing. They don’t tell you anything. Men can have penises. Women can have penises. Trees can have penises. Anyone or anything can have a penis. Anyone or anything can have anything or be anything. Biology textbooks may claim otherwise, but that’s because biology textbooks are riddled with transphobia and should be burned as heresy.”
What is that science stuff anyways? I mean, just because chromosomes say a person is a boy doesn’t really mean it’s a boy. Perhaps that “boy” would prefer to identify as him-her, or an androgynous poly-morph. What then?
As much as I would really like to just laugh about this and joke about the silliness in it all, it’s tough. It’s tough because some people are seriously in doubt that biology determines gender. People look at Bruce Jenner and say, “yep, there goes a fine looking woman.” And yet, there is nothing remotely female about Bruce Jenner. He is, from the inside out, entirely male. Every chromosome, every cell, and every other part of him is male. Yet, in order to not offend the pc-police and all those “inclusive, sensitive” people, he will be referred to as a woman, win women’s awards, use women’s facilities, and represent women…as a woman.
And as crazy as that might sound, it’s not even the craziest part. The craziest part is that anyone who dares to point out the reality that Bruce Jenner is a man will be ridiculed, shamed, brow-beat, and threatened to within an inch of their lives. All because they dare use science and biology to determine gender instead of the much more reliable “feelings.” Walsh comments on the use of feelings to trump scientific fact in determining reality:
“Here’s the problem. You can look at the body parts of a fetus, but you can’t know how the fetus will feel. And without knowing its feelings, you cannot know anything else about it. The only thing that defines a person is the least stable and most fickle part of them: their emotional state. That is what determines everything about everyone. Without knowing it, you can’t know anything. You can’t even know if it’s human. For all you know, my partner is carrying a rooster or a tadpole or a pterodactyl in her womb. We can’t be sure until we’ve asked.”
Though it’s a humorous statement, the reality that it represents is sad. We are literally seeing the rise of feelings based reality. Let that sink in. No longer does actual, physical reality reign as absolute; now we get to determine our own reality simply by how we feel. (Today “feels” like a Saturday to me so I won’t be going to work. My boss can deal with it.)
The larger problem here is a further rejection of the imago-dei that is inherent in mankind. Each person born to this earth bears the image of God. Man, in his sinful state has decided to reject God, and see how far he can carry his rejection. We are seeing that rejection taken to new levels as mankind shakes an angry fist at God and declares, “You screwed up, I was supposed to be a girl but You made me a boy!”
Those that have decided they were born the wrong gender are suffering from mental illness. To look at your physical body, the physical, biological reality you see in the mirror and decide you “feel” like the opposite gender and will now live as such is a mental health issue. Such people need help and deserve compassion. This issue isn’t going away. Like other gender issues this one will stick around as people wrestle with it. Don’t run from the issue. Instead, be prepared to give a biblically based answer to anyone that is wrestling with this very controversial matter. And be prepared to show love and compassion to those that need it.
I didn’t tell my son he could wear a skirt, or be a girl. I told him he was a boy and that boys didn’t wear skirts. Then I told him I loved him and to sleep well. To some I am a bad parent. But as I raise my kids I will continue to teach them the absolute nature of their biological gender; and to celebrate those differences. You may not like it, but that’s just how I feel.