If a Man Isn’t Attracted to a Transgender Woman – is He Transphobic?
A video clip surfaced of a reality show in which an R&B singer, Ginuwine, was accused of being transphobic because he didn’t want to date a transgender person. Apparent’y it’s no longer enough to support transgender rights, now, if you aren’t willing to date transgender people you are transphobic.
The scene unfolded on an episode of “Celebrity Big Brother UK” when one of the cast members, India Willoughby, lamented that man don’t want to date “her” because she is a transgender woman. Ginuwine commented that such a decision was a personal choice and he would choose not to be with a transgender person. That sentiment set off a conversation in which Ginuwine was attacked for his personal decision.
Let’s analyze several of the comments made regarding this issue.
“India Willoughby — a journalist — was sitting next to Ginuwine on a couch and lamenting that ‘a lot of guys wouldn’t go out with somebody like me, even though I’m a woman.’”
Actually, I think a lot of guys won’t go out with India because he’s a man. Changing your name, your outward appearance, the way you dress, or even your genitalia does not make you a woman. Your genetic code, your chromosomes is that of a man. Biologically, you are a man. This might come as a surprise, but many men simply don’t want to date another man.
“Another cast member seemed to agree, pointing to “fragile masculinity” as the reason why straight men don’t get involved with transgender women.”
This is a false conclusion. I’m so strong in my masculinity that I am positive I don’t want to date another man. My masculinity is firmly planted in reality where the natural order of male-female relationships prevails and I am only attracted to biological females. That’s not a sign of “fragile masculinity” but of strong, assured masculinity.
In another statement, India said:
“I’m a woman, right? Forget about any ‘Ts’ or anything in front of it. I’m just a woman, OK? So on that score you would date me, wouldn’t you?’”
Well…no. You see, the problem is that you aren’t a biological woman. You can drop the “Ts” all you want, but the reality is that biologically you are still a male. You don’t have the genetic code and all of the biological characteristics that distinguish a male from a female. This is precisely why a transgender woman was barred from playing sports in Australia: because of his “unreasonable physical advantage.” This is nothing less than an admission of the biological differences between men and women that no surgery can eliminate.
But let’s think for a moment about some of the larger implications of this idea that men can suddenly decide to be women. One limitation that will no doubt weigh on the mind of many men is that of the ability to have a family. It’s one thing to be sterile, or have complications that prevent pregnancy and necessitate adoption. It’s another thing entirely enter a relationship with someone that never could have children, by choice.
Every parent’s first hope is that their child will have DNA composed partly of his, and partly of his wife’s. But if one person is biologically incapable of producing an egg that can be fertilized, that hope is dashed from the beginning. What results is often messy as surrogates and other means are contracted to give a couple unable to have their own child, a child. In light of our highly litigious culture this will undoubtedly bring more stress into the relationship.
Another concern is the economic impact that will be felt. A person that wants to live as a woman, though a man, will need ongoing medical care. Hormone injections. Surgery. The costs could cripple a relationship. With money being one of the main reasons many relationships don’t last, why would another person willingly subject himself to these circumstances?
I agree with the writer of the article cited above, it’s one thing to ask for respect and human dignity, something all people deserve. It’s another thing entirely to demand heterosexual men involve themselves with transgender women or be called “transphobic.” I thought the LGBT community was big on personal choice and preferences? I thought they really respected individual rights and the private decisions people make?
This sounds a bit more like coercion under threat of retaliation. But what it really comes down to is an attempt to force people to join the confusion of transgender people and accept their decision to live as the opposite gender. If it was merely about the personal choices of people regarding their romantic relationship, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The fact that anyone would dare point out that they aren’t attracted to a transgender woman because she is really a he, is at the heart of this issue. The LGBT agenda demands that all people not just respect the rights of LGBT people, but affirm and celebrate their choices as well.
If, as the LGBT community has said for years, you can’t choose who you love. It stands to reason that the right of a man that says he isn’t attracted to transgender women should be protected, defended and respected. Unless of course it was all a ruse to advance an agenda.