The Reformed Advisor

Category: Marriage

True Love is NOT About Feelings or Emotions – Anna Duggar Understands That

Posted on December 23, 2015 in Marriage, Theology by

What strikes me about her comment is her realization that her emotions were not trustworthy. Anna seems to recognize that true love is not about feelings but choices. In our current culture love is an emotion. It’s something people feel, and, therefore, can un-feel. So it’s no surprise that people fall into and out of love. But this show a misunderstanding of what true love is. The reality is that love is a verb. Love is the decisions we make each and every day.

Anna is right that what she is going through is a betrayal, and it’s hard. But she is also correct in that if she were to react according to her emotions she would surely make a “mess” into a “disaster.” So often people turn a mess, a fixable mess that could be overcome, into a disaster. Often that disaster is permanent and cannot be overcome. They do this by reacting emotionally rather than making choices consistent with a proper understanding of love.

Let’s use this example to illustrate what I’m talking about.

Let’s Not Forget About the Asexual Among Us? They Want us to Know They Don’t Care About Sex…or Something Like That.

Posted on December 14, 2015 in Marriage, Sexuality by

It seems everyone these days is interested in sex in some way. Whether we’re talking about heterosexual, homosexual, bi-sexual or transsexual; everyone is interested in sex in one way or another. Everyone except for…the asexual person.

Asexuality is defined as follows:

“the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. It may also be an umbrella term used to categorize a broader spectrum of various asexual sub-identities.”

Most of us will have a hard time comprehending a life where sex is of absolutely no interest. We can’t begin to understand what it would be like to live with no attraction to anyone. And in our highly sexualized culture the idea that someone is entirely unconcerned with sex is even harder to understand. But there may be value in understanding this sexual orientation sub-culture and what part, if any, they play in the ongoing discussions of gender, sexuality, and marriage.

As Tradition is Replaced by Modernism – Everything from Church to Marriage Changes With It

Posted on November 24, 2015 in Marriage, Theology by

But, little did anyone know that with this new movement in church culture came a new movement in social culture. The tradition of courting/dating was replaced with the hookup culture; and extended into a generation that now uses technology to be “friends” and find dates for casual sex. Traditional engagement was replaced with cohabitation as a form of experiment to see if two people are compatible. Marriage for life was replaced with no-fault divorce and an easy out mentality. Even the definition of marriage slowly but surely has been replaced to mean, quite literally, anything a person wants.

It’s a cycle that is becoming easier to see. As church teaching became fluffier, more focus-on-yourself-because-you’re-a-good-person-centric; the church turned out less disciples and more attenders. The attenders are now abandoning their “Christian” label in favor of something more inclusive; and adopting theological positions that reflect this desire. As a result the church is shrinking as true believers are left wondering where so many people went. So yes, I agree that Christianity is not dying, we aren’t about to see the end of the church; we are only seeing a reflection of decades of shallow teaching in a sin-soaked culture.

I’ll Tell You Exactly What I Think of Starbucks and Their Red Cups

Posted on November 16, 2015 in Marriage, Religious Freedom by

Last week the country flipped out over the decision by Starbucks to use red cups for Christmas this year. Accusations of religious persecution and limiting free speech abounded as self-proclaimed Christians blasted Starbucks for the red cup design. Social media lit up and arguments got heated as “offended” people made their feelings known.

Despite employees saying that Starbucks has never prohibited them from saying “Merry Christmas,” some urged patrons to tell their barista their name was “Merry Christmas” so they would have to write it on the cup and say it. Hilarity and absurdity ensued from there.

Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed as Christians reminded us all that they were there to get a cup of coffee, not be evangelized or reminded of the true meaning of Christmas. Some even cautioned us from expecting a secular organization to act religious or in any way celebrate Christmas in a biblical way. Good advice.

Did You Hear About the Gay People Supporting Christians for Refusing to Take Part in Gay Weddings?

Posted on November 3, 2015 in Marriage, Religious Freedom by

When a Christian person refuses service to a gay person it is all over the news. Every news outlet in the country carries the story and wags their head at the “shameful” treatment of the poor gay people. By the end of the day everyone has seen the story and knows the basic details of how this innocent gay person (or couple) has been terribly mistreated by the awful Christian person (or couple).

Instances of overblown media attention include the case of the baker in Colorado that refused to bake a cake for a gay wedding; the florist in Washington that refused to provide flowers for a gay wedding; and the printer that refused to print t-shirts for a gay-pride parade. (Just for good measure let’s throw in the pizza shop that refused to provide pizza for a gay wedding.)

In each of these accounts a Christian business owner is exercising his or her right to live and do business according to their faith. They are refusing to provide service – not because they hate the gay people – but because they do not want to show support for gay marriage, something their faith will not allow.

But, have you ever heard the mainstream media (MSM) report on the large amount of support these Christians received from the gay community for doing business according to their faith?

The New War on Women: A Man Has Just Been Named “Woman” of the Year

Posted on October 28, 2015 in Marriage, Public Policy, Sexuality by

This post will likely be deemed “offensive” and “hate speech” by some. It will certainly be considered politically incorrect. Those realities make it all the more necessary and bewildering.

It seems Caitlyn Jenner, the new identity of the man formerly known as Bruce Jenner, will be named “Woman of the Year” by Glamour magazine. Now, there is so much packed into that statement that needs addressed, it is hard to know where to start.

Let’s consider the state of a society that celebrates and throws parties when a man is named “Woman of the Year.” It seems our culture loves embracing confusing ideas that aren’t based in realty. And by doing so we have become hypocrites that loathe the truth. We tell a man dressing as a woman that “she” is courageous and beautiful. We then tell people that believe in God, heaven, and eternity that they are “anti-science.” Even though biologically Bruce Jenner is a man and, therefore, scientifically he is living a lie. Our culture says we should celebrate his decision and support him in his confusion. But don’t you dare claim to pray or believe in divine intervention because that is unscientific.

Speaking of science. It has been shown, scientifically, that unborn babies have a heartbeat by 8 weeks. They can hear sounds and have recordable brain activity by 12 weeks. And by 20 weeks they can feel pain. And yet our President and many others praise Planned Parenthood for killing unborn babies. All the while, Planned Parenthood (and many abortion advocates) can’t really say when an unborn child really becomes human. You know, scientifically speaking. But let’s go ahead and tell a man dressed as a woman that he is in fact, a woman. Because, you know, equality and all.

Doritos Promotes Equality by Partnering with a Bully That Hates Christians

Posted on September 30, 2015 in Marriage by

I don’t want to focus on the chips so much as I want to focus on the partnership Doritos has entered in to with the It Gets Better Foundation. But before I do, let’s talk about the chips for a second.

Every company has the right to support whatever they want. But they also must know that by doing so they bear the responsibility of the consequences. For example, I stopped supporting the United Way and Susan G Komen for the Cure years ago. Why? Because they are partners with Planned Parenthood and, as much as possible, I want to make sure not a single dollar of my money goes to that criminal, vile organization that takes pleasure in profiting from the murder of innocent babies. By the way, that’s the reason I don’t support the Girls Scouts as well.
When I learned that PepsiCo was using the cells of aborted babies in their flavor testing process for various sodas, I immediately stopped buying any Pepsi products. In fact, that was nearly 8 years ago. So while Doritos has every right to support homosexuality, I have every right to show my disapproval of their decision by not buying their products. Just as I show my support for Chick-Fil-A’s position on marriage by eating there as often as possible.

Now, having said that, let’s talk about the real irony and near stupidity of this decision by Doritos.

Here’s What I Think About Kim Davis and Christians Ignoring the “Law of the Land”

Posted on September 23, 2015 in Marriage, Religious Freedom by

The more I read the less I’m sure of. Is Kim Davis an example that Christians should take note of for her refusal to compromise her religious convictions? Is she a criminal interfering with “the law of the land” that needs to either “get with the program” or get out of the way?

One thing I am sure of is that most people, by now, have at least heard of Kim Davis. And I am fairly certain that most people have made up their mind about whether they view Davis as a hero or a villain. But all the noise and static in the media and on blogs takes time to wade through.

At the risk of personifying irony by becoming part of the noise and static, I wanted to share some thoughts on what could, potentially, be one of the most crucial incidents in our nation’s history.

There seems to be a grave misunderstanding taking place that could alter the course of events if not adequately cleared up. Some are inclined to think that the Supreme Court of the United States makes laws in our country when, in fact, they do not. The Supreme Court has no authority to make laws but, in reality, is to uphold existing laws. It is Congress that has the task of making laws. For this reason Kim Davis is well within the bounds of law to refuse to sign a marriage certificate for a same-sex couple. Why?

How Would You Respond If Your Pastor Was On the Ashley Madison List?

Posted on September 16, 2015 in Family, Marriage, Theology by

After posting an article related to the Ashley Madison hack last week, I had the opportunity to engage in conversation with a family member, a long-time friend, and a pastor-friend regarding, essentially, whether or not pastors caught in the scandal should be restored to pastoral ministry. It was an occasion for learning as it helped to clarify thoughts on forgiveness and consequences.

There is two sides that have voiced thoughts on how a pastor caught using Ashley Madison should be handled.

The first voice says that the pastor should resign or be fired. This side believes in forgiveness and encourages the church to forgive the pastor if he is repentant and seeks forgiveness. This side also emphasizes the critical need for the pastor to seek counseling to restore his marriage and family. But ultimately, this side does not believe the pastor should stay in his role at the church and should move on. Indeed, this voice isn’t sure the pastor is even qualified to be a pastor anymore.

The other side says the church should consider not just forgiving the pastor but becoming his biggest support in seeking reconciliation with his wife and healing for his family. This side says that since Christians have a bad reputation for shooting their wounded that perhaps allowing the pastor to continue at the church would be a powerful witness. This side does not believe the church should allow the pastor to be in leadership or even preach for a season; but that he can stay on staff through the healing process and, in due time, when the leaders believe it is appropriate, be restored to his position.

Maybe The Kentucky Clerk Should Be Jailed For Refusing to Issue Marriage Licenses. Maybe?

Posted on September 9, 2015 in Marriage, Religious Freedom by

So Daniel refused to compromise his convictions, even while working for the king (a secular entity). That decision led to his punishment; a punishment Daniel was fully prepared to accept, even to the point of death. At no time did Daniel plead his case or demand his “religious convictions” be honored. The end result was that Daniel’s accusers were thrown into the den of lions where they all perished, and the king decreed that only the “God of Daniel” was the true God.

Does this biblical account relate to the Kentucky clerk that now sits in prison for refusing to compromise her convictions?

I think there is a relationship between the account of Daniel and this Kentucky clerk refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. The relationship is that Ms. Davis – the clerk – is living according to her religious convictions despite the laws of the land. The current law makes it illegal to deny a marriage license to any couple seeking to be married, refusing to comply with that law is an act of disobedience to the law.

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