The Reformed Advisor

Tag: behavior

Church Bullies: Who They Are and How To Spot Them

Posted on April 8, 2015 in Theology by

Bullying is a central topic in the news these days. Truthfully, I would not be surprised if everyone has been bullied at least once in their lives. When I was a kid in school I was bullied for various reasons; of course at that time I didn’t know it was bullying, we just called it teasing. People are much more sensitive to bullying today than they were a few decades ago.

So it would not be much of a surprise if we all sat around sharing our stories of being bullied in school, or college, or in athletics. What would be a surprise, however, is if we all say around and shared our stories of being bullied…in church!

There’s an old (sad) adage that says “Christians are the meanest people in the world.” Another similar (and equally sad) adage says “if you want to learn to fight, join a church.”

It’s unfortunate that people supposedly filled with grace, love, joy, and humility are often some of the meanest, rudest, most hateful and hate-filled people in town. And sadly, most churches have at least one “church bully” in their midst.

I know how mean church people can be; I’m a pastor’s son and have seen and heard more than any person should. On top of that, I spent more than a decade serving churches in various capacities. I’ve been behind closed doors more often than I care to admit. But I never connected the concepts of bullying with people in church until I read a couple of articles that made this obvious.

The first article centered on characteristics of church bullies, you can read it here. See if these characteristics fit the “church bully” you have come to dread:

Jesus Didn’t Say Anything Against Same-Sex “Marriage” So He Must Support It.

Posted on October 7, 2014 in Marriage, Sexuality by

A favorite argument for advocates of marriage redefinition is that Jesus is on their side. Being experts in biblical studies and theology they have determined that since Jesus didn’t explicitly prohibit homosexuality and same-sex “marriage” that He, obviously, is for it.

These armchair theologians have somehow deduced a meaning from Scripture that nearly every pastor, every theologian, every academic, and every expert denies as impossible. But, apparently gaining some insight from the Holy Spirit that others have not been blessed with, they are adamant in their belief that Jesus supports the homosexual lifestyle.

As someone that has studied the Bible for a couple decades and regularly reads through it, I find it hard to believe that anyone reading the pages of Scripture can find support for homosexuality. A cursory reading of the text, whether Old or New Testament, reveals a universal consensus that homosexual behavior is sin. Only through a strange twisting of any particular text could anyone hope to find anything less than a condemnation of homosexual actions.

Debate: Can You Be a Gay Christian?

Posted on July 16, 2014 in Sexuality, Theology by

Now, on the surface is the short, simple answer from both sides of the debate. Homosexual activists would quickly say “of course it’s possible” and cite several examples, perhaps Matthew Vines, Jennifer Knapp or friends and family they know. Christians by a large majority would quickly say “no, this is not possible” and cite scripture calling homosexual behavior a sin.

At issue then is whether or not homosexual behavior is a sin. Because if homosexual behavior is not a sin then it is entirely possible to be a proud, practicing homosexual and at the same time be a Christian. If homosexual behavior is a sin then to live in sin and be proud of it while claiming to be a Christian is contrary to biblical teaching on several levels.

Boys Being Boys: The Redefinition of Boyhood in American Schools

Posted on May 28, 2014 in Sexuality by

So when experts like Christina Hoff-Summers starts talking, I start listening. Hoff-Summers is the resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute and she has a serious message for America: Let boys be boys!

That might sound like a silly old cliché but more and more it is becoming a battle cry for many parents at odds with a society that wants their boys to behave like girls.

I’m not saying that people want boys to wear dresses and sport some well applied make-up. I’m talking about the effort to “reform” the behavior of boys so that it resembles that of girls. In other words, we’re taking the macho out of our boys and replacing it with feminine characteristics.

In a recent video for the American Enterprise Institute and Prager University, Hoff-Summers explains the problem taking place in schools regarding boys and their behavior:

If This Photo Shows “Gay Pride” Then Gays Should Be Ashamed of Themselves

Posted on April 2, 2014 in Sexuality by

Warning: Graphic image below that some might find disturbing.

Let’s suppose you are walking in the park with your children enjoying a beautiful day. The kids are running and laughing while you stroll along and everyone is enjoying themselves. Suddenly a most disturbing image reveals itself as a completely nude man strolls down the sidewalk toward your children.

What would you do?

Like nearly every parent you would most like grab your kids and run in the opposite direction seeking shelter from the offensive image. You would do everything in your power to keep your kids from seeing the image and perhaps call the police to report the indecency.

Why would you do that?

I suspect that you would react in that way because you inherently know that it is not right for someone, man or woman, to be walking around the park naked. We have laws against public nudity that forbid such things. We have those laws not only to protect the innocence of children, but to protect the moral conscience of people in general. Decency an nudity laws protect innocence, conscience, order, and the morals of people that would otherwise be susceptible to diverse forms of crude, lascivious behaviors.

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