Tag: cohabit
Once Again Evidence Shows That Living Together Before Marriage Doesn’t Work
Posted on March 10, 2015 in Marriage by Nathan Cherry
One of two scenarios have become popular in our culture:
Scenario #1: Boy and girl meet, start dating, get serious, decide to move in together (more often than not due to one person’s hope that it will propel the relationship toward marriage).
Scenario #2: Boy and girl meet, get serious, start dating, date for a couple years, get engaged, THEN decide to move in together (for any number of reasons including, to save money while planning a wedding, or because “we are basically married anyway”).
The problem that many people just cannot seem to figure out with these scenarios is that they are doing more harm than good to the relationship.
Marriage is a commitment. Marriage says “I am committed to being with you through thick and thin, good or bad, easy or hard, I will be by your side.” (That is what the vows are supposed to mean, and each person is supposed to convey this message and make this commitment). When two people get married it is supposed to be for life regardless of circumstances; a vow and covenant made with each other, God, and before a number of witnesses. Marriage is serious.
Moving in together before marriage does not carry the same commitment. This poses a problem as many people expect their girlfriend or boyfriend to ACT like they are married, but without the vows and commitment that comes with marriage. When those expectations do not materialize it often strains the relationship and causes breakups, custody battles, and broken lives. In other words, people want to play house without making it official. By doing so they unwittingly set themselves up for failure.