Do you have integrity? Wait, don’t answer that. Maybe we should let those who know us best answer the question. What would they say? Would they affirm us as a man or woman full of integrity or someone lacking basic ingredients of integrity?

For that matter, how would your kids answer the question? We would all be naïve to think our kids don’t know us the best. We think we hide our shortcomings and weaknesses from them, but honestly, we know they are smart enough to notice the issues that we struggle with the most.

I can’t think of a single parent that doesn’t want to raise kids full of integrity. Sure, we want them to be healthy, happy, talented, successful and well-liked. But to see our kids grow into men and women full of character and integrity is surely at the top of the list for any parent.

Some people struggle to identify what integrity is. Is it simply being honest, faithful, loyal, a person whose word is their bond? Or is it something more? Legendary basketball coach John Wooden says that boiled down to its simplest form, integrity is “purity of intention.” Yes, integrity contains other elements such as honesty and loyalty, but broken down to its most basic expression, integrity is having pure intentions.

I read a couple of articles from www.orangeparents.com that I believe explain exactly what integrity is and is not very well. In fact, what made these articles so interesting to me was the fact that they were directed at parents! You see, your kids cannot develop integrity unless they see it first in you. They need you to be the model of what it is you want them to develop in their own life; in this case it’s integrity. But if they are not seeing it in you there is little chance they will develop it in their own life.

The first question to ask is, am I a person of integrity? Before you are too quick to answer that for yourself, take a look at these “Five Signs You Lack Integrity as a Parent.” This might not be easy to read, and it might cause some pain as you come face to face with your own weaknesses. But the good of our kids is compelling enough to demand our attention to these difficult matters.

The article states that we lack integrity as a parent if “It’s about us, not them,” or we “aren’t modeling what we’re saying,” or “we are not on the same page as our spouse,” or if we “fail to do what we said we would do,” or if we are a “controlling parent.”

Ouch! I don’t know about you, but I found this painful. I was reminded of something I told my son I would do for him 2 weeks ago that I still have not done. And though he doesn’t care that it continues to be put off, it is a reminder that I have not done what I said I would. Ultimately, I have not modeled what I want him to be, and I have not kept my word. The hardest part is that I know he is watching and learning from me.

So how do you teach your kids to be men and women of integrity? As the previous article states you simply “Become the person you want your child to become.” Now, that might be easier said than done, but it is essential. It is our responsibility as parents to raise Godly men and women full of character and integrity. The only way to do this is to become the person we want them to be. It will be hard, it will cause pain, but to see our kids grow into men and women we can be proud of (and more importantly God will be proud of) is a worthwhile reward.

So this second article explains “Five Ways to Build Integrity as a Parent.” The article states;

“Integrity is such a core issue. Like a building that’s well constructed, a leader who has integrity survives storms in tact. And integrity is compelling. We all want to be around people of integrity. Why would our kids be any different? The more integrity you have as a parent, the more your kids will appreciate your leadership in their lives.”

So by “parking your pride,” and “becoming the person you want your child to become,” along with “getting on the same page as your spouse,” and “doing what you said you would do,” and being “authoritative not authoritarian” you can develop and model integrity for your kids.

We want to weather the storms. We want to come out in-tact; and we want the same for our kids. But they can’t develop the integrity needed to weather the storms of life unless we put forth the effort to model it for them. They are worth it, aren’t they?