Being a father in today’s world is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I’ve wore a number of hats including, worship leader, teacher, laborer, store clerk, writer, administrator, graphic designer, and musician. But being a husband and father as the Bible describes is by far one of the most challenging things I have ever undertaken.

I will confess that I don’t think I am a great father. I have happy, healthy kids that other people often compliment. My kids are smart and articulate – just ask their doctor. But despite the outward appearance I daily wrestle with my own feelings of inadequacy and guilt for what I perceive to be shortcomings.

There is plenty that I don’t know about being a father, but one thing I do know is that fathers are one of the most critical parts to a family. Now, this isn’t to diminish the importance and need for a Godly mother, but rather it’s to highlight the God-ordained role fathers were called to carry out in the life of their family.

The Bible mentions children and parents in the same verse several times; two specific verses share God’s command for children to obey their parents.

“Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” (Eph. 6:1)
“Children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” (Col. 3:20)

While I cannot find any verses that specifically mentions mothers and children in any instructive way, look at what the Bible has to say about fathers and children:

“Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.” (Prov. 4:1)
“…the father to the children shall make known thy truth.” (Isa. 38:19b)
“And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4)
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” (Col. 3:21)

Starting to get the picture? God has given fathers the central role in teaching, training, disciplining, and leading his family and kids. So it comes as no surprise that when a father abdicates this role and refuses, for any number of reasons, to accept his God-given responsibility that his family is more vulnerable to attacks and falling apart.

Maybe you, like me, try to read everything you can on how to be a Godly leader and father in your family. I found an article from Orange Parents really practical and helpful for me, see it here.

Perhaps you want something a little more hard hitting, something that tackles the biblical doctrine of gender roles and what the Bible says constitutes a biblical husband and father. I would commend Owen Strachen’s recent article at The Gospel Coalition to you for some deep, theological reading on this subject.

Strachen’s article, titled “Of ‘Dad Moms’ and ‘Man Fails’: An Essay on Men and Awesomeness,” is hard-hitting and highlights the biblical gender roles for men as provider and protector, among other things. Strachen’s comments, which I agree with, run counter to most of what we hear in society today. While society tells us that men and women are interchangeable and gender roles don’t really matter, Strachen explains how the biblical ideal that God established for men and women is of utmost importance.

Its resources like these that challenge and encourage me in my role as a father. They also serve as a mirror to show me the blind spots in my life that need addressed and corrected.

I can’t help but wonder what our churches and communities would be like if we all applied the teachings of Scripture in our homes. What if dads took their role as leader and teacher more seriously than they did their fantasy football league? What if men felt the burden of fatherhood in a way that motivated them to pursue excellence in the same way they do in their professional life?

I can see headlines now, “Divorce Rates Drop Dramatically in Wake of Fathers Stepping Up.” That is one news article I would be happy to read and share. It’s possible to see this happen. If we will heed the words of Scripture and put our responsibilities as fathers ahead of everything else (except our relationship with Christ) we can see our families strengthened and a positive effect on our community and our church.