The goal foremost in my mind for 2014 is to disappear as completely as possible and retreat into relative anonymity.

Let me explain.

One of the most deceptive and dangerous temptations this world has to offer is fame. People will go to the greatest, or at times the silliest, length to acquire any amount of fame possible. It’s almost as if people are willing to endure a life of fame for silly, absurd, or even rude behavior than to live content in anonymity. Reality television has proven humanities desire for fame knows no bounds.

The result of this temptation has produced people that believe they must be heard, known, and recognized or their life is an abject failure. With this fear in mind we launch podcasts, books, Youtube videos, and social media campaigns designed to explain to the world just how important we are. (No, the irony of this article appearing on a website with my name is not lost on me.) The greater result of this need to be known by the world is an inflated sense of importance that produces narcissism while reducing people to little importance.

I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing a small fraction of recognition and fame in my life. Through my work with non-profit groups and my writing as a blogger I am “known” in some circles. This has afforded me the chance to spend time with some very well-known people. I’ve been in private meetings with politicians. Some of our nation’s most influential social leaders know my name. And I am “recognized” by people I’ve never met from around the country when attending conferences.

What became clear to me is that, first, whatever amount of fame a person achieves; it is miniscule and small in reality. I could throw out many well-known names such as Tony Perkins, Alan Sears, Mark Levin, John Piper, Kermit Gosnell and John Roberts. While some of you might know exactly who each of these individuals are, the vast majority of America, and indeed the world, has no clue who they are. When you consider the platform these individuals occupy and that they are indeed famous, it is sobering to realize that they are relatively unknown in our country and around the world.

Consider that most people don’t even know who their elected representatives to Congress are, can’t name the members of the Supreme Court, have no idea who the Family Research Council is, didn’t know Gosnell was tried for killing babies or even listen to talk radio. This is significant in that it tells us that in order to gain real fame in our culture you have to be a Tiger Woods, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, or some other pop icon that gained fame by being good at sports, or being raunchy on stage.

And while the success of fame is mostly an allusion for the majority of people on this earth, the allure of seeking fame has crept into every area of society. This, I believe, is the number one danger for pastors.

Pastors today are learning how to “brand” themselves and market their church to the community, state, country, and world. The fact that pastors are more authoritative as marketing and branding experts rather than expository instructors is hardly deniable. Pastors are frequently encouraged to start live streaming their sermons, record a podcast, get on the radio, write a book, and work to become a conference speaker. While none of these things in and of themselves is inherently wrong, they are a dangerous temptation towards fame.

I once knew of a church that looked so good from the outside. All the marketing, brochures, banners, and cards were consistent and had been done by a professional graphic designer. The website was sharp and better than most. Everything screamed that this church was “doing church” right. That is, until you got inside. The internal turmoil and chaos was palpable. Leaders had not been properly trained. Ministries were in disarray for lack of communication and cooperation. It was a mess. But the marketing was top notch.

I wish this was an isolated incident, but the reality is that it is more a trend than a one-time occurrence. Pastors want everything to look really good so lost people will want to come to the church. Once there, the pastor gives a funny, witty, culturally relevant “talk” to inspire the people for the week. Eventually, if they do things just right they will grow large enough where the pastor can do podcasts, speak at conferences, and write books on his success. Do you see the faulty logic and danger present in this way of thinking?

I’ve been lost in this way of thinking. This thinking produces a craving for fame, to be known and respected. The ultimate result is a church full of baby Christians, if they are Christians at all, and a pastor that does little more than give hip pep talks on Sunday morning to appease the masses.

After falling prey to the temptation of fame I am seeking now to disappear into anonymity. To join the thousands, perhaps millions of pastors that faithfully served their church and community for 20, 30 or 50 years before departing this world to receive the reward of their life of service to Christ. I can’t help but think that one day when we stand before God’s throne there will be a long line of pastors that hear Jesus say “well done, good and faithful servant.” And yet no one has ever heard of these men.

I want to reach Jerusalem, Judea, and the uttermost parts of the earth with the Gospel. But I can’t go to the uttermost parts if I’m not ministering to my Jerusalem first. So I don’t want to write books, speak at conferences, or be on the radio just for the sake of doing so. Why interview me on the topic of marriage rather than the couple that’s been married for 50 years and raised Godly children? Why talk to me about shepherding a church flock rather than the man that’s faithfully shepherded the same flock for 40 years? There’s wisdom in consistent perseverance and longevity. Our sound-bite culture despises anything longer than 140 characters or 7 seconds, but longevity speaks of character and integrity.

So I’m resolving to disappear. Sure, I will continue to write and maintain my blog. While it might sounds hypocritical to speak of disappearing while maintaining a blog I don’t think it is. This blog, like many, is first and foremost a record of my life. I want to use it to record what happened in my life and pass that on to my kids one day. Secondly, this blog is a ministry. I write and others are able to use articles to share the messages contained herein. It is an appropriate use of technology for the sake of the Gospel.

There’s a very real danger in wanting to be famous. This desire is antithetical to the Gospel which says “I must decrease, He must increase.” (John 3:30) My duty to Christ is not to become famous, Christ doesn’t need that. My duty is to reach the lost around me, in my community, and around the world with the Gospel. My primary responsibility is not book deals, podcasts, or speaking tours, it’s evangelism, preaching, shepherding, and the faithful handling of God’s Word.

I find it interesting that the largest church in the world is pastored by a man no one has ever heard of. The church, it’s said, is comprised of 100,000 “campuses” each having at least 50 people for a total of at least 5 million people. With a church that large and “successful” you’d think the whole world would know about this pastor. You’d think he would be on the cover of magazines, interviewing on the radio, and speaking at conferences around the world. Surely a pastor like this would have several book deals and be sharing his wisdom with us. And yet he’s doing none of that.

The reason you’ve never heard of the pastor of the largest church in the world is because his church is in China, and is an underground church. If the government finds this pastor he will be fined, imprisoned, tortured, and perhaps executed. So he keeps his identity hidden. Yet he is faithfully pastoring his flock and growing his church through reaching people with the Gospel of Christ, one soul at a time.

I can only hope I am fortunate enough to one day stand alongside this man and be counted a faithful shepherd.