I read not too long ago that future home designs will not include plans for a dining room. To some that might seem incredibly strange, to others it might not be a big deal. But one thing is for sure, the family is changing.

Once upon a time the family sat down and ate dinner together each night as they discussed their day, shared stories, and parents even used the time to teach manners or other life virtues to their kids. It was a daily family ritual that served as an anchor to keep every person in the family grounded. The picture we see today?

Today families are so busy that stopping to eat is a challenge, much less getting everyone around the table to share dinner together. It’s no wonder there’s a fast food chain every 100 yards, with the busy schedules people seek to maintain no one has the time to cook.

There’s a common principle in business called the Pareto Principle. This principle says that 20% of the clients for any given business produce 80% of the businesses profits. This principle is often cited in churches as 20% of the people do 80% of the work or, 20% of the people give 80% of the tithes. The principle is hard to deny.

The question is what is the most meaningful 20% of your time together as a family?

Maybe its parent/child functions at school, or family game night, or lazy Saturday mornings together. For me, what immediately comes to mind as some of the most important time with my family is:

–          Eating dinner together each night.

–          Playing with the kids before bed time.

–          Sunday’s spent at church, having lunch, taking naps, and hanging out as a family.

These are times I enjoy and look forward to with my family. They are times I believe can be leveraged to have the most impact with my kids as long as I prioritize them.

What I have observed in recent years is that families are together often, perhaps more than any other time in history. Unfortunately the problem is that they are doing something: school function, church function, community function, sports, and classes, on goes the list.

There’s nothing wrong with these things in and of themselves. The problem is that we have become so busy that the majority of our time spent together is riding in the car from one place to another, waiting for something to be finished, and then going to the next thing where we wait. By being “supportive” of all the things our kids want to do parents have become little more than glorified taxi services.

Between a busy work schedule, busy school schedule, busy sports schedule, and busy recreational schedule families have little to no time talking with one another; parents spend very little time actually talking with their kids. I know I can be very guilty of this as someone that doesn’t naturally enjoy “chit-chatting.” I would much rather play with my kids, build with Legos, play army men or ball than to chit chat or spend time talking as a family.

But I am reminded in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 that I am to “teach” and “talk” about the things of God with my kids. This requires clear, direct communication. Specifically I am to spend time teaching and talking to my kids when we are sitting around the house, traveling to and from places, getting ready for bed, and when we wake up in the morning.

So while the things we enjoy doing are great, they are leveraged for maximum effectiveness when I incorporate talking about God’s Word and teaching biblical principles in the midst of doing them. An example of this might be to explain to my son as we build with Lego’s that “unless God builds a house they labor in vain that build it.” (Psa. 127:1)

We can get easily distracted by things that don’t matter while our family falls apart around us. What distractions can you remove from your daily life in order to prioritize spending meaningful conversation with your family? Can you eat dinner together each night? Have family game night (even if it is on the X-Box or Wii)?

By intentionally giving 20% of our time to our family we can see a positive return. The goal then is to leverage that time to its fullest in order to have a maximum impact on our family. What can you begin doing today? What can you cut out of your schedule?