Tag: Ashley Madison
True Love is NOT About Feelings or Emotions – Anna Duggar Understands That
Posted on December 23, 2015 in Marriage, Theology by Nathan Cherry
What strikes me about her comment is her realization that her emotions were not trustworthy. Anna seems to recognize that true love is not about feelings but choices. In our current culture love is an emotion. It’s something people feel, and, therefore, can un-feel. So it’s no surprise that people fall into and out of love. But this show a misunderstanding of what true love is. The reality is that love is a verb. Love is the decisions we make each and every day.
Anna is right that what she is going through is a betrayal, and it’s hard. But she is also correct in that if she were to react according to her emotions she would surely make a “mess” into a “disaster.” So often people turn a mess, a fixable mess that could be overcome, into a disaster. Often that disaster is permanent and cannot be overcome. They do this by reacting emotionally rather than making choices consistent with a proper understanding of love.
Let’s use this example to illustrate what I’m talking about.
How Would You Respond If Your Pastor Was On the Ashley Madison List?
Posted on September 16, 2015 in Family, Marriage, Theology by Nathan Cherry
After posting an article related to the Ashley Madison hack last week, I had the opportunity to engage in conversation with a family member, a long-time friend, and a pastor-friend regarding, essentially, whether or not pastors caught in the scandal should be restored to pastoral ministry. It was an occasion for learning as it helped to clarify thoughts on forgiveness and consequences.
There is two sides that have voiced thoughts on how a pastor caught using Ashley Madison should be handled.
The first voice says that the pastor should resign or be fired. This side believes in forgiveness and encourages the church to forgive the pastor if he is repentant and seeks forgiveness. This side also emphasizes the critical need for the pastor to seek counseling to restore his marriage and family. But ultimately, this side does not believe the pastor should stay in his role at the church and should move on. Indeed, this voice isn’t sure the pastor is even qualified to be a pastor anymore.
The other side says the church should consider not just forgiving the pastor but becoming his biggest support in seeking reconciliation with his wife and healing for his family. This side says that since Christians have a bad reputation for shooting their wounded that perhaps allowing the pastor to continue at the church would be a powerful witness. This side does not believe the church should allow the pastor to be in leadership or even preach for a season; but that he can stay on staff through the healing process and, in due time, when the leaders believe it is appropriate, be restored to his position.
Christians Should Not Be Smug About the Ashley Madison Website Hack
Posted on September 1, 2015 in Marriage by Nathan Cherry
I’m sure many people were glad when the cheating website Ashley Madison was hacked and the identity of its users was revealed. I know I was. I thought “serves people right.” But very quickly the depth of hurt inflicted on many families across the country became very real to me and my initial happiness was turned to sorrow for the hurting families.
I think there is a tendency among Christians to assume that the only people that use such websites as Ashley Madison are contemptuous people that deserve whatever happens when they are finally exposed. What we tend to forget is that many of the users are friends, neighbors, and pastors.
The people who signed up for the cheating website are not just anonymous men and women with no families, reputations or careers. They are husbands and fathers, wives and mothers, deacons, elders, and pastors. The extent of hurt and heartache inflicted by this single act may never truly be known. But one thing is for sure, no one should be laughing.
Consider, according to Christian culture analyst Ed Stetzer, roughly 400 pastors, elders, and deacons resigned their position on Sunday. We may be tempted to think that a good thing, that they should not be allowed to serve. Whether that’s true or not remains to be seen. But what about the churches? If that number is correct then 400 churches just lost key leaders. And with a shortage of qualified leaders already causing issues among churches, the enemy, Satan, is surely smiling.