Tag: discipline
Church Bullies: Who They Are and How To Spot Them
Posted on April 8, 2015 in Theology by Nathan Cherry
Bullying is a central topic in the news these days. Truthfully, I would not be surprised if everyone has been bullied at least once in their lives. When I was a kid in school I was bullied for various reasons; of course at that time I didn’t know it was bullying, we just called it teasing. People are much more sensitive to bullying today than they were a few decades ago.
So it would not be much of a surprise if we all sat around sharing our stories of being bullied in school, or college, or in athletics. What would be a surprise, however, is if we all say around and shared our stories of being bullied…in church!
There’s an old (sad) adage that says “Christians are the meanest people in the world.” Another similar (and equally sad) adage says “if you want to learn to fight, join a church.”
It’s unfortunate that people supposedly filled with grace, love, joy, and humility are often some of the meanest, rudest, most hateful and hate-filled people in town. And sadly, most churches have at least one “church bully” in their midst.
I know how mean church people can be; I’m a pastor’s son and have seen and heard more than any person should. On top of that, I spent more than a decade serving churches in various capacities. I’ve been behind closed doors more often than I care to admit. But I never connected the concepts of bullying with people in church until I read a couple of articles that made this obvious.
The first article centered on characteristics of church bullies, you can read it here. See if these characteristics fit the “church bully” you have come to dread:
You Want to Influence Your Kids? Here’s How to Do It
Posted on March 11, 2014 in Family by Nathan Cherry
One issue I see in society is what appears to be a lack of concern on the part of parents for their children. I don’t mean ignoring basic needs like food and clothing, but rather the often overlooked “invisible essentials” of imparting faith, morals, and character. It appears that most parents have taken a “survival” mentality and simply hope to get through childhood and the teenage years without actually killing their kids. It’s a strange paradox to see parents acting more like kids as they seek approval form their kids, ask their kids permission, and yield to the demands of their kids.
I can’t help but wonder if parents have forgotten that it is not just their job to raise their children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,” (Eph. 6:4) but also to be a steady influence into their adult years. Then again, maybe influence or the lack thereof, is the problem. And just maybe what has happened is that in the attempt to be loved by their kids parents have lost all influence and consequently are not much loved either.
That Dirty Little D Word: Discipline
Posted on February 20, 2014 in Family by Nathan Cherry
Have you ever been out in public and saw some kids behaving in a way that made you want to grab their ears, twist, and “teach them a lesson?” To emphasize her point, my mom used to grab my ear, twist, and proceed to show me exactly what it was I was supposed to be doing, or not doing. To say I was “all ears” would be an understatement.
Or maybe you’ve had an experience like this one where you end up hiding from your own kids because you’ve concluded that they are aliens sent to destroy you and take over the planet. And more often than not you sit back at the end of a long day, sigh (or perhaps cry) and wonder aloud “how did it get this bad?”