Tag: hurt
What Message is Your Church Sending to Hurting People?
Posted on October 13, 2015 in Theology by Nathan Cherry
Last week was a little chaotic for me. During the whirlwind week, which involved a last minute flight to St. Louis, I had the chance to spend some time talking with a man that shares a very similar story as mine. By “similar story” I mean a man that spent many years in full-time vocational church ministry and is now doing something else.
But, the similarities in our stories did not end with our transition from vocational ministry to secular work. What became apparent is that we both found ourselves making similar observations about the church and our own theology. Let me share an example.
I was talking with a friend some weeks back and said “for all the talk the church does about grace and forgiveness, there seems to be very little offered.” My comment came after many people called for pastors and church leaders caught in the Ashley Madison hack to be removed from their positions (some even calling for them to be removed from church membership). This struck me as so odd. I recalled Peter denying he even knew Jesus and yet Jesus never once thought about stripping his Apostleship.
The overtone of responses by many Christians to this event left me wondering what our communities and religious skeptics thought of us when we decided it was a good idea to shoot our wounded. Fast forward to one of the first conversations I had with my new friend in St. Louis. I asked him why he was no longer in vocational ministry. He offered several reasons but included in his answer that he has been less than excited by the lack of grace and forgiveness in the local church.
Mean Churches: How to Spot Them and Avoid Them
Posted on April 15, 2015 in Theology by Nathan Cherry
I wrote not long ago about mean people in the church. Sadly, if you’ve been going to church for any length of time, you’ve had an encounter with someone that is known to be mean.
It seems I’m not alone in my discouragement over the growing number of mean people (and mean churches) that give Christ and His church a bad name. In fact, if you’ve never read about “The Dones,” you will find it fascinating. This group, which is the fastest growing group of people is characterized as: once faithfully committed church members walking away from the church because they are tired of the abuse inside the church.
One common trait among The Dones that I have noticed is that they say they are fed up with the mean-spirited, abusive people in the church. One person recently wrote a letter to Lifeway President Thom Rainer saying:
“The non-Christians I associate with are much nicer people than the members of my church.”
As stinging a comment as that may be, it is also very true in many cases. I’ve often said that church people are some of the meanest I’ve ever known. An old adage says “if you want to learn to fight, join a church committee.” I didn’t say it was a good adage.
Church Bullies: Who They Are and How To Spot Them
Posted on April 8, 2015 in Theology by Nathan Cherry
Bullying is a central topic in the news these days. Truthfully, I would not be surprised if everyone has been bullied at least once in their lives. When I was a kid in school I was bullied for various reasons; of course at that time I didn’t know it was bullying, we just called it teasing. People are much more sensitive to bullying today than they were a few decades ago.
So it would not be much of a surprise if we all sat around sharing our stories of being bullied in school, or college, or in athletics. What would be a surprise, however, is if we all say around and shared our stories of being bullied…in church!
There’s an old (sad) adage that says “Christians are the meanest people in the world.” Another similar (and equally sad) adage says “if you want to learn to fight, join a church.”
It’s unfortunate that people supposedly filled with grace, love, joy, and humility are often some of the meanest, rudest, most hateful and hate-filled people in town. And sadly, most churches have at least one “church bully” in their midst.
I know how mean church people can be; I’m a pastor’s son and have seen and heard more than any person should. On top of that, I spent more than a decade serving churches in various capacities. I’ve been behind closed doors more often than I care to admit. But I never connected the concepts of bullying with people in church until I read a couple of articles that made this obvious.
The first article centered on characteristics of church bullies, you can read it here. See if these characteristics fit the “church bully” you have come to dread:
I’m Definitely Not Abraham. Are you?
Posted on January 28, 2014 in Family by Nathan Cherry
I, like many people watched the History Channel mini-series “The Bible” when it aired nearly a year ago. I have not often been excited about biblically themed television shows. They tend to veer towards blatant misrepresentations after relying more on extra-biblical sources than the Bible itself. But this series, from husband and wife producers Mark Burnett (Survivor) and Roma Downey (Touched By An Angel) received much media attention and hype prior to the first episode for what critics said was careful attention to detail in staying true to Scripture.
As I watched the first episode I was pleasantly surprised and filled with promise that this could be worthy of the adjective used frequently to describe it on social media: epic. Of course it will be necessary to overlook the fact that everyone is speaking in a British accent. But I’m more interested in the series being biblically and historically accurate than employing the proper accent. (I do realize the historical inaccuracy of everyone speaking in the wrong accent. it’s just a detail that doesn’t bother me.)