Considering we live in a sex-obsessed world it is not often that a major media outlet celebrates the decision of a person to remain a virgin until marriage.

Considering many major media outlets appear to be anti-Christian it is even rarer for said outlet to celebrate the decision of a Christian person to remain a virgin until marriage.

And yet it was recently that Salon published an op-ed by 26-year-old Ellen Burkhardt explaining why she is and plans to remain a virgin until she is married. I’m not a regular reader of Salon (big surprise) so a h/t goes to LifeNews.com for sharing Burkhardt’s post; a well-written, very worthwhile post.

Burkhardt writes:

“I should be better at sharing this bit of information by now. I’m a 26-year-old woman with a college degree, a good job, an adorable duplex and no debt. I have a solid group of friends, a supportive family and a clear awareness of who I am and who I want to be. By most accounts, I am a successful human being. Yet the moment I have to tell the guy I’m dating that sex is not an option, I become a squirmy, awkward, fidgety girl who can’t make eye contact or put together a complete sentence.”

More than one commentator will mention that it’s sad that our society has devolved to the place where sex is such a god that anyone not engaging in it is considered strange. When a mid-20’s young woman – or any female above the age of 14 – declares that she’s a proud virgin it elicits instantaneous assumptions about her mental state, emotional strength, physical condition, and whether or not she’s a “religious wacko.”

But, as LifeNews states, this fact is nothing short of sad:

“…[I]t’s also a tragedy that our society views being a virgin as abnormal. It shouldn’t be this way. Burkhardt’s decision to choose abstinence prevents a host of difficult scenarios. For example, abstinence is the only 100% effective way to prevent STD’s and unplanned pregnancy.”

It never ceases to amaze me that every time abstinence is mentioned as the only 100% guaranteed way to prevent STD’s and pregnancy some “enlightened” chap will argue that it’s not a practical option. If you read between the lines the message is that “we’re all sex-obsessed animals that can’t keep our pants on so abstinence just won’t work.”

But the account of Burkhardt challenges that thinking and the notion that a person cannot be a happy, fulfilled adult without the presence of sex. She writes:

“Despite what you may think, abstaining has not made me a miserable, lonely, pleasure-deprived shell of a person. Nor am I anti-sex. In fact, I’m all for sex — from what I’ve heard, it’s fantastic! Life-changing! Glorious! (At least when it’s good.) I cannot wait to have sex someday. Right now, however, I appreciate — and even take pride in — my virginity.”

The notion that a person is any way defined by sex is false. Sex outside of marriage is little more than a biological function of being a human. Often it is reduced to a social recreation complete with rules, rights, expectations, and status. But this separates the inherent worth and dignity in people from their ability to be in a sexual relationship with another person. The result is a world saturated in pornography, sex-trafficking, and prostitution. Burkhardt clearly knows this and wants no part in something so shallow and empty:

“I believe wholeheartedly that sex and love should coexist. In fact, I believe they need to coexist; that without love, sex is just a Band-Aid fix for something that should be addressed with words rather than walks of shame.”

Right, outside of a loving, one man one woman marriage sex doesn’t hold value or meaning. It can become an addiction for emotional, mental, or physical problems just like food, video games, drugs or alcohol. To push our kids toward sex, like Planned Parenthood, GLSEN, and others do, is not just reckless it’s downright evil. (No amount of free condoms or birth control can fix what is lost to casual sex.)

But, as Burkhardt concludes, keeping love and sex intertwined as they were designed by the Creator retains the value in love, sex, and the other person:

“I’ve come to realize that of all the experiences and opportunities offered in life, to love someone is the most precious. A long time ago I was taught — and chose to believe — that love and sex are intertwined in such a way that to separate them would be to lessen their value. When it comes to my decision to stay a virgin until marriage — to hold out for that one-time-only chance to fully connect with and know and love another person — I want to make sure it’s the right man.”

Ellen Burkhardt will be more prepared for a loving lifelong relationship than most of her “experienced” counterparts.