A story not quite as well-known as the baker from Colorado is the one of the Klein’s, bakers from Oregon. These Christian bakers found themselves in the middle of a national controversy for refusing to bake a cake for a homosexual wedding. In doing so they garnered the wrath of the state which found them guilty of violating anti-discrimination laws. The penalty for adhering to their religious convictions has been the loss of their shop, legal fees, and the possibility of a massive fine that could bankrupt them.

The Klein’s closed their successful bakery in 2013 in the face of legal issues surrounding their case. They decided to operate out of their home in order to be able to do business according to their religious convictions. But this family of 7 is facing bankruptcy as a result of a possible $150,000 fine from the state.

But now, an unlikely ally is coming to their aid and seeking to raise enough money to erase any fines and ensure the family business continues.

That ally is a gay man.

More specifically that ally is Matt Stolhandske, a self-described “evangelical Christian gay man” that is a board member for the newly formed Evangelicals for Marriage Equality (EME). This group describes themselves as evangelical Christians that are also gay, or believe in same-sex “marriage.”

Stolhandsek says even though he disagrees with the Klein’s, he wants to show them “good faith and love” by helping to raise money to pay any fines they might incur. To this end Stolhandsek is planning to send the money he raises through a crowdfunding effort to the Klein’s. He recently said of his decision:

“As a gay man, I should hate Melissa and Aaron Klein…I’m also an evangelical Christian. I can’t understand why Klein or any other Christians twist the words of Jesus Christ to justify this behavior. To me, it’s a deeply harmful and embarrassing bastardization of our faith.”

Far from taking a combative tone however, Stolhandske said this is an attempt to “begin a conversation” with the Kleins and all Christians that oppose same-sex “marriage”:

“We want to begin a conversation with the Kleins and Christians around the country. We want to ask them to begin to use the posture of Jesus Christ as it pertains to the civil rights of gay Americans. Even if you disagree with gay RELIGIOUS marriage, please see that Jesus did not ask His followers to take his words, convert them into laws, and then force everyone to abide by them; that is the opposite of the way in which He asked us to share His message of hope and salvation.”

While I don’t agree with Stolhandske or EME regarding their position on marriage, I applaud for being civil and willing to have a respectful conversation about the issue. In a time when many just want to hurl names and destroy a family’s livelihood, Stolhandske has enough true tolerance – seemingly – to act with respect toward people that disagree with him. That’s a plus.

But Mellissa Klein has pinpointed the problem facing our society. It’s not about marriage and laws but about the ability to disagree civilly – also known as tolerance. Klein recently said:

“Our culture has accepted 2 huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. Second is that to love someone means that you must agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”

Ding ding ding. Melissa Klein hits the nail on the head. These are two huge lies being propagated by LGBT activists, among others, regarding these issues. They say that unless Christians openly embrace, support, and advocate for the LGBT lifestyle that we hate people. But, as Melissa said, that’s nonsense. I don’t support the lifestyle of lots of people around me and yet I would offer help and give them the same respect I give anyone else.

For example, I don’t support the lifestyle of prostitutes, drug-addicts, alcoholics, gamblers, thieves, adulterers, or greedy people willing to harm others to make a buck. And yet I love these people and would offer them help and respect like anyone else. I will not, however, advocate for lifestyle and offer any form of support for their destructive behaviors. I don’t see The National Union of Breweries, Brothels, and Bingo Halls calling me names.

Somehow we’ve forgotten that tolerance is about being able to respectfully disagree with each other. It’s the ability to civilly discuss ideas and thoughts and allow someone the courtesy of having a divergent view. The new tolerance says that you have to agree with me and not just agree, you have to celebrate me – otherwise you’re just a racist, sexist, discriminatory bigot. That’s a sad reality.

I am glad to see Stolhandske and the EME willing to have a conversation with the Kleins. But I can’t help but wonder what happens when the Kleins don’t change their mind? Will the EME then blast them for their unwillingness to change their convictions? Because at the heart of this issue is the deeply held religious convictions of the Kleins and millions of other Christians. So, if the EME raises a ton of money for the Kleins and has a nice civil discussion that ends with the Kleins refusing to change their position – then what?

The reality is that many of us won’t change our opinions on this issue. It’s not about hating anyone or not wanting people to be happy. It’s about submitting to the authority of the God’s Word in our lives and taking the same position Jesus took as a servant of God. I cannot in good conscience endorse or celebrate that which God calls sin. Just as the Kleins cannot violate their religious convictions by celebrating – through creating artistic speech in the form of a cake – what they believe God calls sin.

Stolhandske and the EME might not agree, they might not even understand such a position. That’s okay, as long as they are willing to respect me and the Kleins for our position. That would be a show of tolerance people simply aren’t used to these days.