The Reformed Advisor

Tag: family

Mentoring: Where Older Folks Can Impact the Younger Generation

Posted on February 7, 2014 in Family by

We live in a society where the family structure has changed dramatically from what it was even just 50 years ago. There are far fewer homes with a father and mother and their biological children. There are many more homes with second marriages, step-children, and single parents. We can sit and debate the pros and cons of this social paradigm shift all we want, but the fact remains that as the church we need to stand ready to love and support every family that walks through the doors.

Of course we never want to condone sin. It seems the word sin as it relates to people’s relationships has become very blurry in our culture of “acceptance.” But the Bible still lays a blueprint for the right and the wrong way to do things. To this end we must uphold that Biblical truth regardless of shifting cultural opinions.

Complementarianism: A Biblical Model of Marriage

Posted on February 4, 2014 in Marriage by

I could spend a lot of time talking about biblical gender roles. In fact, I spent over a year studying them before compiling a teaching outline and writing a number of articles on the subject. I believe the Bible lays out specific responsibilities and guidelines for men and women if they desire to be a biblical husband/father and wife/mother.

Are You a Boy That Can Shave or a Real Dad?

Posted on January 24, 2014 in Family by

The last couple of weeks have reiterated the importance of father’s being actively engaged in the life of their kids. Unfortunately most dads are simply present, doing the necessary things, but never truly becoming fully engaged and involved in the lives of their kids. The effect of this terrible pattern is astounding. It has been proven time and again that absent father’s contribute to poor academic performance, the likelihood of drug and alcohol use and abuse, sexual immorality and trouble with the law.

For an in-depth analysis of the family as it stands today check out www.familyfacts.org.

The fact remains that it is absolutely critical to the development of every child that their father be actively involved in their life. If a biological father is not present or able to be involved a good “father figure” should be sought. The devastating effects of no father figure in the life of a developing child will be felt long into their adult years.

Video: Christian’s Song “No Night” (Must Watch)

Posted on January 22, 2014 in Life by

The video below is a beautiful thing. I’ve been following the story of Lacey Buchanan and her son Christian for a while now. When you see Christian you will understand why Lacey has gained a public following. A couple of years ago Lacey posted a video to YouTube sharing Christian’s story and the fact that many people thought she should have aborted him because of his “disabilities.” Since that time Lacey has traveled the country sharing Christian’s story and defending life and dignity for all people regardless of their appearance. The story being told by Lacey and Christian and their family is inspiring and one our world needs to hear.

With that in mind, a song has been written in honor of Christian and a preview video for the song has been released. Here’s is what Lacey said of the video below:

Helpful Tips on Combatting Entitlement in Kids

Posted on January 21, 2014 in Family by

Good, I’m not the only one that struggles with the entitlement mentality in my kids, or me. My earlier post on this subject generated quite a bit of feedback from many who are facing similar issues. At least I know I am not alone in this struggle to counter the selfish, materialistic culture we now live in each day.

As I heard the comments and thoughts from different people on the previous article I got to thinking about the specific things my wife and I do to discourage entitlement and encourage giving; both in our kids and in ourselves. So I thought I would share some of those things in an effort to pass on the tips and practices that have helped us. I hope these thoughts are helpful to you and something you can use to build on for your own family.

The Definition of Marriage is More Than A Defintion

Posted on January 10, 2014 in Family, Marriage by

The definition of marriage is not just an arbitrary conglomeration of words with no meaning. But that is exactly what those seeking to redefine marriage are trying to make it. Opponents of traditional marriage believe the definition is too narrow and exclusive, so they are seeking to broaden the definition in order to be more inclusive.

The problem is that by broadening the definition of marriage, these self-titled liberals and progressives would also erase any actual or perceived definition of marriage. Marriage is inherently the union of one man and one woman for one lifetime. For example, the Webster online dictionary defines marriage thus:

A Hurried Life is Hard on a Family

Posted on January 7, 2014 in Family by

There’s an old saying I’ve heard all my life which says, “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” This sly strategy has effectively rendered the life of many Christians null and void. While inspiring authors like John Piper say “Don’t Waste your Life,” and visionary pastors like David Platt call us to be “Radical,” and respected leaders like Francis Chan push us toward a “Crazy Love” for God; Satan pushes us toward the breaking point with calendars so full they rival presidents and pop stars. Click here for 5 characteristics of a hurried life.

To say that we are “hurried” is perhaps a great understatement; hurried would be an improvement for most people today. Between strenuous workloads for mom and dad that produce less and cost more, school activities, community activities, sports, fund raisers, and the typical errands of life; we are far more than “hurried.”

And sadly, many people don’t see the hidden dangers of their hurried lives; or the consequences a hurried life has on children. Most notably is the negative effect on family a hurried life produces as each member of the family becomes a “ship in the night” passing by daily without more than a few minutes of interaction. In fact, one recent article I read says that in the very near future new homes won’t even include a dining room because they will be considered “unnecessary.” Yet we read in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 that one of the main times of teaching our kids occurs when we “sit down in our house” to eat. Click here to read about how to lead even when life gets busy.

I Don’t Want to Fall Into the Category of “Man Fail”

Posted on December 27, 2013 in Family by

Being a father in today’s world is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I’ve wore a number of hats including, worship leader, teacher, laborer, store clerk, writer, administrator, graphic designer, and musician. But being a husband and father as the Bible describes is by far one of the most challenging things I have ever undertaken.

I will confess that I don’t think I am a great father. I have happy, healthy kids that other people often compliment. My kids are smart and articulate – just ask their doctor. But despite the outward appearance I daily wrestle with my own feelings of inadequacy and guilt for what I perceive to be shortcomings.

There is plenty that I don’t know about being a father, but one thing I do know is that fathers are one of the most critical parts to a family. Now, this isn’t to diminish the importance and need for a Godly mother, but rather it’s to highlight the God-ordained role fathers were called to carry out in the life of their family.

How Do You Respond When Your Spouse and Kids Annoy You?

Posted on December 24, 2013 in Family by

Have you ever noticed that it’s easier to honor a perfect stranger, or someone you hardly know, than it is the people you love the most? I find this to be not only true in my own life, but very perplexing. How is it so much easier to be patient, kind and understanding to people I don’t really know than it is to be all those things with my wife and kids?

Do I love the people at the gas station more than my own family? Do I prefer the company of the grocery store clerk over my kids? Are my co-workers more deserving of my best than my wife? I doubt we would answer any of these questions in the affirmative and yet, practically speaking, we live life as if we answered “yes” to them all.

I am reminded of Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13: 7 as he teaches on what love looks like in daily life. Paul, speaking of love, says that it:

A Dynasty America Can Live With (And Be Proud Of)

Posted on December 23, 2013 in Marriage, Sexuality by

I’ve been trying to keep up with the Duck Dynasty saga over the last week, not an easy task. Last Friday when I was writing my own commentary on the incident I was also having conversations on social media with people about what I thought would happen. (You can read my commentary here or here.)

In my conversations I mentioned that I thought this was the biggest mistake a cable network has ever made. A&E decided to cater to a small group of people that don’t even watch their network and offend the 15 million viewers making them a ton of money. I’m no cable network exec, but if making decisions like this is what it takes to be one, I can start today.

Additionally, A&E has already wrapped up filming the last 10 episodes of season 4 before this flap started and has no plans to scrap any of those episodes. So guess who will be in those episodes starting January 15th? That’s right, Duck Commander Phil Robertson.

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